So I was just saying how I was mysteriously miserable over the weekend and it all got better yesterday? well, i spoke too soon. In the evening, after dinner, my throat started feeling scratchy..the same feeling I got 2 weeks ago when I fell sick. I checked my tongue, it was the 'Geographic Tongue' again...something tells me it might be food allergy again. I was darn sure it was the fish soup or something that went into it...or even the sauce or the chili. I was upset, I liked that fish soup a lot. CM reminded me that I also had a few mouths of his duck rice. This morning, i woke up with the worst sore throat ever, it was so bad, i woke up even before the alram clock rang. CM said his throat was also slightly sore so he thinks it might be something wrong with the duck rice cause he did not take my fish soup. I then had a slight fever and also had achy bones...seriously, i do not know what is wrong with me. My immunity seems to be getting real bad...coming down with this and that over the span of just a few weeks. I am not sure what i can do abt it, i can start exercising more and eating a more balanced diet...sigh...hope I will be well soon...
Anyway, there were also some tips I saw on tv that I wanted to record down here...there was this tip about mixing soda water with water in the ratio of 1:4, and the beautiful bouquet of flowers that we receive from family and friends can last a longer time. Useful tip to remember...
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Mood swings are scary....
Over the weekend, I experienced the worst ever mood swing. I felt really low and so out of control. It is scary how the feeling just engulfs me and I can't jump out of the feeling. It was like I have a stone weighing on my chest and I can't get it off. The worst thing? There isn't really anything that is supposed to be bothering me! Was it something that I ate? The supplements I took to prepare for conception? It might be and if that is the case then it is really scary. Just for the records, I am not on any other medication. I am on another set of supplements from Forever but I have been taking those for many many months and have not felt anything like this before...
But now that I am back in office and back to work, I do feel a lot better, so another contributing might the house. Maybe I feel trapped in the house? Maybe the fengshui doesn't work for me anymore even though it was fine before. It is multi-factorial...and it is hard to arrive at anything concrete. CM says it is mid-life crisis...or Big 3 crisis...maybe...the one thing that I am telling myself now is that, I am not destined for big things so there is no point lamenting that I am not as successful as I would like to be. To be fair, I think I am doing alright but I would like to be doing better. I think I can be, and I will be, I just need to be a little more patient. And honestly, should I be defined by just work? And to make it worse, work for 'others', not even for myself, if u know what I mean. So, just the other day, I told CM, I wanna owe a business by 40. I wanna own a cafe of my own. Really, CM & I spoke about it before and I think I might have just the right concept to go along. The next 10 years will be saving up and preparing myself to this dream. A 10-year road map. I think I need a goal in life to work towards. Holidays spread through the year just doesn't spur me on anymore. I need something that is more meaningful and this might just be it!
But now that I am back in office and back to work, I do feel a lot better, so another contributing might the house. Maybe I feel trapped in the house? Maybe the fengshui doesn't work for me anymore even though it was fine before. It is multi-factorial...and it is hard to arrive at anything concrete. CM says it is mid-life crisis...or Big 3 crisis...maybe...the one thing that I am telling myself now is that, I am not destined for big things so there is no point lamenting that I am not as successful as I would like to be. To be fair, I think I am doing alright but I would like to be doing better. I think I can be, and I will be, I just need to be a little more patient. And honestly, should I be defined by just work? And to make it worse, work for 'others', not even for myself, if u know what I mean. So, just the other day, I told CM, I wanna owe a business by 40. I wanna own a cafe of my own. Really, CM & I spoke about it before and I think I might have just the right concept to go along. The next 10 years will be saving up and preparing myself to this dream. A 10-year road map. I think I need a goal in life to work towards. Holidays spread through the year just doesn't spur me on anymore. I need something that is more meaningful and this might just be it!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Too busy....is BAD!!
I was really moody for most parts of Sunday...I still dunno why but one thing I thought about a lot is how we have time but don't really have it for the right things. I was watching TV and got really emotional cause it made me think when was the last time, CM & I shared a passionate kiss..I am not sure if it was because we do not have the time, do not see the need, finds it awkward or just am not in that phase of our lives anymore...and that is just one of those things. and all of a sudden, I feel engulfed by this feeling that my life is passing me by and I am not enjoying it. Well, you can argue that at least I am not ill or am living in a war zone, fair and I agree...but I just feel that it is precisely because I have the capacity to do more with my life that I should, if not I am wasting this 'chance' to lead a more fruitful life that many others would love to have...
So, let's see, what is one thing that I can do today to make today a little better than tomorrow?
So, let's see, what is one thing that I can do today to make today a little better than tomorrow?
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Lazy Saturday afternoon
Reading List:
When We Were Romans - Matthew Kneale
The Curious Incident of the dog in the night time
Hairdos to consider for 2010, CNY..
I kinda like the Old Hollywood Bob..wonder if it'll make my face look fat..
http://www.refinery29.com/trend_spotting/2010_hair_trends_hairstyles.php
Replacement for hairbands: http://store.thetwistband.com/lookbook
Decorated the house with CNY trinkets...the same old ones we had for the past 2 years..staying true to the spirit of recycling but not contributing to the economy..hah..
Hoping to watch the Vampires' Assistant tonight...my first vampire show was 'Fright Night'...was so scared I slept with a pillow covering my neck for nights...but am somehow drawn to these stories after Twilight...well, maybe not just Twiling, also the likes of Harry Potter, Narnia etc..the mystical and mysterious, and yet I wrote on my FB status that I find the unknown somewhat scary..ironic..yeah, most women are like that and men are suckers for us...now, that's a real irony..
When We Were Romans - Matthew Kneale
The Curious Incident of the dog in the night time
Hairdos to consider for 2010, CNY..
I kinda like the Old Hollywood Bob..wonder if it'll make my face look fat..
http://www.refinery29.com/trend_spotting/2010_hair_trends_hairstyles.php
Replacement for hairbands: http://store.thetwistband.com/lookbook
Decorated the house with CNY trinkets...the same old ones we had for the past 2 years..staying true to the spirit of recycling but not contributing to the economy..hah..
Hoping to watch the Vampires' Assistant tonight...my first vampire show was 'Fright Night'...was so scared I slept with a pillow covering my neck for nights...but am somehow drawn to these stories after Twilight...well, maybe not just Twiling, also the likes of Harry Potter, Narnia etc..the mystical and mysterious, and yet I wrote on my FB status that I find the unknown somewhat scary..ironic..yeah, most women are like that and men are suckers for us...now, that's a real irony..
Thursday, January 14, 2010
a food allergy i never knew about...
after two visits to the doctor, about a hundred bucks on meds, one medical certificate... i was told that i have a food allergy. one i never knew about till this morning. so what am i allergic to? to be honest, i don't know, even the doctor didn't know. although he did say it could a common item. shucks n horrors! ok, fine, i just need my voice back. its such a pain to be croaking! sobs...
Friday, January 08, 2010
Work is such a pain
Life would be such bliss if we did not have to work. I am not just saying so cause I am a lazy bum but work is no longer just work these days. There is politics, climbing the corporate ladder, strategizing this and that...
Given a choice, I don't think many people like to work. I do enjoy my work in its 'pure' form but I guess like what they say, it is always about the people.
Isn't life quite stressful, and is this what life is all about and should it be all that life is about? If we did not have to worry about bring food to the table, it'll be less stressful. For others, not living up to one's own expectations can be stressful. I belong tot he latter group. I believe that individuals should always be making improvements. And everyday, we need to be doing one thing to make today a bit better than tomorrow. And because the bar keeps getting raised, it becomes more stressful and harder to satisfy my appetite for improvement everytime.
Just the other day, I got on a cab and that proved to be the most harrowing taxi ride I have taken. I think the taxi driver must have been udner tremendous stress and is on the brink of a mental breakdown. The moment me and my sis got on his cab, he started saying things that did not make sense. It soon dawn upon us that he was very bitter that passengers were not flagging his cab and going for comfort taxis instead. He got really agitated when he spoke about the experiences he had with passengers who gave excuses for not taking his cab when they realise it is not a comfort cab. When we tried to explain that we are not selective about which company's taxi to take, he got even more agitated and called us liars..worse still, he obviously took a wrong route and my sis wasn't please. He kinda overheard us commenting that we seem to have been brought on a joyride, he said that he will not charge is for this leg of the ride and will only start charging aftermy sis gets off the cab. Totally weird....to cut the long story short, I arrived home safely, paid normal fare and the cabbie was much calmer afterwards.
I wasn't angry with the cabbie, in fact, I pity him, i think he must have been so stressed out with his 'work' and have had no one to speak to and it is making him lose his mind. I tried to make him shift his focus away from the things that make him made and to think about the important things in his life that he is working hard for.
At the end of the day, I think all he needed was a listening ear that was not quick to judge him. But other than that, I also think that there are many people in our society who are living life very stressfully...and life should never be like this. If you are stressed, find an avenue to de-stress before you go mad!
Given a choice, I don't think many people like to work. I do enjoy my work in its 'pure' form but I guess like what they say, it is always about the people.
Isn't life quite stressful, and is this what life is all about and should it be all that life is about? If we did not have to worry about bring food to the table, it'll be less stressful. For others, not living up to one's own expectations can be stressful. I belong tot he latter group. I believe that individuals should always be making improvements. And everyday, we need to be doing one thing to make today a bit better than tomorrow. And because the bar keeps getting raised, it becomes more stressful and harder to satisfy my appetite for improvement everytime.
Just the other day, I got on a cab and that proved to be the most harrowing taxi ride I have taken. I think the taxi driver must have been udner tremendous stress and is on the brink of a mental breakdown. The moment me and my sis got on his cab, he started saying things that did not make sense. It soon dawn upon us that he was very bitter that passengers were not flagging his cab and going for comfort taxis instead. He got really agitated when he spoke about the experiences he had with passengers who gave excuses for not taking his cab when they realise it is not a comfort cab. When we tried to explain that we are not selective about which company's taxi to take, he got even more agitated and called us liars..worse still, he obviously took a wrong route and my sis wasn't please. He kinda overheard us commenting that we seem to have been brought on a joyride, he said that he will not charge is for this leg of the ride and will only start charging aftermy sis gets off the cab. Totally weird....to cut the long story short, I arrived home safely, paid normal fare and the cabbie was much calmer afterwards.
I wasn't angry with the cabbie, in fact, I pity him, i think he must have been so stressed out with his 'work' and have had no one to speak to and it is making him lose his mind. I tried to make him shift his focus away from the things that make him made and to think about the important things in his life that he is working hard for.
At the end of the day, I think all he needed was a listening ear that was not quick to judge him. But other than that, I also think that there are many people in our society who are living life very stressfully...and life should never be like this. If you are stressed, find an avenue to de-stress before you go mad!
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Realisation...
Sometimes, something so obvious stares us in the eye and we still choose to ignore it. I guess deep in our heart we all choose to believe that goodness exists.
I knew this colleague for almost 2 years now, and we got a long really well. She is the the sort that is friends with everyone and from my observation, she seem to be rather well-liked. Just the other day, during my performance review, my Boss cautioned me against hanging out with this group of colleague. He felt that we have created some sort of reputation that worked against us. He said that every single one in that group seemed to be getting a bad popularity rating these days. Till today, I choose to give everyone the benefit of doubt. I would not say that I do not trust what my Boss said but I kinda think that it might not be representative.
That said, some time ago, I did notice that colleague F1 has a rather loose mouth. To say that she cannot be trusted may be too harsh but she probably finds it hard to keep a secret, especially some hot gossip. There were more than occasion when I discovered that she had spilled the beans on something that I shared with her in confidence. I must say that took quite a bit of brownie points from her good friends rating. Oh well, what was I expecting. I knew long ago that it was hard to find friends at work. Relationship at work were usually out of convenience. It was for companionship and to make life a bit easier and time to pass faster. I am just glad that I have not shared anything really personal with this group and that this realisation came sooner than later.
Boss also told me that people found the F2 very fake. I actually didn't need him to tell me that. I honestly din mind just tagging along and cracking a few harmless silly jokes here and there. After all, it always helps to have one more friend than an enemy.
To be fair, the information sharing was good but I need to be smarter about what I choose to share with this group.
I knew this colleague for almost 2 years now, and we got a long really well. She is the the sort that is friends with everyone and from my observation, she seem to be rather well-liked. Just the other day, during my performance review, my Boss cautioned me against hanging out with this group of colleague. He felt that we have created some sort of reputation that worked against us. He said that every single one in that group seemed to be getting a bad popularity rating these days. Till today, I choose to give everyone the benefit of doubt. I would not say that I do not trust what my Boss said but I kinda think that it might not be representative.
That said, some time ago, I did notice that colleague F1 has a rather loose mouth. To say that she cannot be trusted may be too harsh but she probably finds it hard to keep a secret, especially some hot gossip. There were more than occasion when I discovered that she had spilled the beans on something that I shared with her in confidence. I must say that took quite a bit of brownie points from her good friends rating. Oh well, what was I expecting. I knew long ago that it was hard to find friends at work. Relationship at work were usually out of convenience. It was for companionship and to make life a bit easier and time to pass faster. I am just glad that I have not shared anything really personal with this group and that this realisation came sooner than later.
Boss also told me that people found the F2 very fake. I actually didn't need him to tell me that. I honestly din mind just tagging along and cracking a few harmless silly jokes here and there. After all, it always helps to have one more friend than an enemy.
To be fair, the information sharing was good but I need to be smarter about what I choose to share with this group.
Monday, January 04, 2010
New Year, New Challenges, New Targets,
The end of 2009 and the dawn of 2010 was some what different from the ones from the years before. For one, it was the last year of the noughties and also draws the curtains for yet another decade, 2009 being the 3rd decade of my earthly existence.
It was, however, a sheer coincidence that I chose to do my annual work review with my boss on the very last day of 2009. The session proved to be very insightful and enlightening. It kinda set me thinking about 'stuff'....and so on the first working day of 2010, I decided that it was about time that I went with the flow and start being strategic about things at work.
I started this social experiment, I call it Project 'Hearts'. It is fundamentally about winning people over and getting them to be on your side. The assumption here is that with good working relationships, things get done a lot easier.
Move #1 - "Let's be 'Friends'"
For starters, I needed to take the initiative to show my sincerity to build relationship. Sacrifices was necessary. I ditched my usual lunch crew, explaining that there were new joiners to the team and I was obliged to lunch with the department. Half-truths are best when you do not want to burn bridges (Quote boss: You do not have to burn bridges, you can still lunch with 'them' from time to time).
1215h - I sashayed over to the area where M, C & L was sitting. E and A were on leave and EL was no where to be found. My original plan was to just blend in when the whole group went for lunch, and sticking to the new members of the team Y. This way, it would seem more subtle. But shucks, Y was nowhere to be found. Need to re-strategise. I pretended to read the papers for a bit...realised that they were not ready to lunch. Retreated back to my desk....consolidated thought....heard them stirring a little and talking about lunch...went over and asked them directly if they wanted to do lunch, M was quite nice about it and said yes. When C, M & L moved I joined in. It helped that A & E were not around. It was always easier to infiltrate a less guarded camp.
After latching on successfully, everything flowed according to plan. Conversations were cordial and polite, which was totally expected. After all, i wasn't current with their topics and I was akin to an 'alien'. As much as I am assessing their threat, they are assessing my threat as well. Whatever...
Bonus: Boss, Y, EL and Bear came to the cafeteria for lunch. Boss joined the table and we continued with lunch normally. After lunch, Boss IM me and asked how I managed to excused myself from the lunch crew. I told him that I told them the truth, well, half truth to be exact, but he didn't need the specifics. He acknowledged the effort to make the first move. Aced it.
Next target: A detail battle plan that demostrates sincere effort to form alliance
Moves: Lunch with the Home Team on all Tuesdays.
More social experiment updates in the next entry...
It was, however, a sheer coincidence that I chose to do my annual work review with my boss on the very last day of 2009. The session proved to be very insightful and enlightening. It kinda set me thinking about 'stuff'....and so on the first working day of 2010, I decided that it was about time that I went with the flow and start being strategic about things at work.
I started this social experiment, I call it Project 'Hearts'. It is fundamentally about winning people over and getting them to be on your side. The assumption here is that with good working relationships, things get done a lot easier.
Move #1 - "Let's be 'Friends'"
For starters, I needed to take the initiative to show my sincerity to build relationship. Sacrifices was necessary. I ditched my usual lunch crew, explaining that there were new joiners to the team and I was obliged to lunch with the department. Half-truths are best when you do not want to burn bridges (Quote boss: You do not have to burn bridges, you can still lunch with 'them' from time to time).
1215h - I sashayed over to the area where M, C & L was sitting. E and A were on leave and EL was no where to be found. My original plan was to just blend in when the whole group went for lunch, and sticking to the new members of the team Y. This way, it would seem more subtle. But shucks, Y was nowhere to be found. Need to re-strategise. I pretended to read the papers for a bit...realised that they were not ready to lunch. Retreated back to my desk....consolidated thought....heard them stirring a little and talking about lunch...went over and asked them directly if they wanted to do lunch, M was quite nice about it and said yes. When C, M & L moved I joined in. It helped that A & E were not around. It was always easier to infiltrate a less guarded camp.
After latching on successfully, everything flowed according to plan. Conversations were cordial and polite, which was totally expected. After all, i wasn't current with their topics and I was akin to an 'alien'. As much as I am assessing their threat, they are assessing my threat as well. Whatever...
Bonus: Boss, Y, EL and Bear came to the cafeteria for lunch. Boss joined the table and we continued with lunch normally. After lunch, Boss IM me and asked how I managed to excused myself from the lunch crew. I told him that I told them the truth, well, half truth to be exact, but he didn't need the specifics. He acknowledged the effort to make the first move. Aced it.
Next target: A detail battle plan that demostrates sincere effort to form alliance
Moves: Lunch with the Home Team on all Tuesdays.
More social experiment updates in the next entry...
New Year, New Challenges, New Targets,
The end of 2009 and the dawn of 2010 was some what different from the ones from the years before. For one, it was the last year of the noughties and also draws the curtains for yet another decade, 2009 being the 3rd decade of my earthly existence.
It was, however, a sheer coincidence that I chose to do my annual work review with my boss on the very last day of 2009. The session proved to be very insightful and enlightening. It kinda set me thinking about 'stuff'....and so on the first working day of 2010, I decided that it was about time that I went with the flow and start being strategic about things at work.
I started this social experiment, I call it Project 'Hearts'. It is fundamentally about winning people over and getting them to be on your side. The assumption here is that with good working relationships, things get done a lot easier.
Move #1 - "Let's be 'Friends'"
For starters, I needed to take the initiative to show my sincerity to build relationship. Sacrifices was necessary. I ditched my usual lunch crew, explaining that there were new joiners to the team and I was obliged to lunch with the department. Half-truths are best when you do not want to burn bridges (Quote boss: You do not have to burn bridges, you can still lunch with 'them' from time to time).
1215h - I sashayed over to the area where M, C & L was sitting. E and A were on leave and EL was no where to be found. My original plan was to just blend in when the whole group went for lunch, and sticking to the new members of the team Y. This way, it would seem more subtle. But shucks, Y was nowhere to be found. Need to re-strategise. I pretended to read the papers for a bit...realised that they were not ready to lunch. Retreated back to my desk....consolidated thought....heard them stirring a little and talking about lunch...went over and asked them directly if they wanted to do lunch, M was quite nice about it and said yes. When C, M & L moved I joined in. It helped that A & E were not around. It was always easier to infiltrate a less guarded camp.
After latching on successfully, everything flowed according to plan. Conversations were cordial and polite, which was totally expected. After all, i wasn't current with their topics and I was akin to an 'alien'. As much as I am assessing their threat, they are assessing my threat as well. Whatever...
Bonus: Boss, Y, EL and Bear came to the cafeteria for lunch. Boss joined the table and we continued with lunch normally. After lunch, Boss IM me and asked how I managed to excused myself from the lunch crew. I told him that I told them the truth, well, half truth to be exact, but he didn't need the specifics. He acknowledged the effort to make the first move. Aced it.
Next target: A detail battle plan that demostrates sincere effort to form alliance
Moves: Lunch with the Home Team on all Tuesdays.
More social experiment updates in the next entry...
It was, however, a sheer coincidence that I chose to do my annual work review with my boss on the very last day of 2009. The session proved to be very insightful and enlightening. It kinda set me thinking about 'stuff'....and so on the first working day of 2010, I decided that it was about time that I went with the flow and start being strategic about things at work.
I started this social experiment, I call it Project 'Hearts'. It is fundamentally about winning people over and getting them to be on your side. The assumption here is that with good working relationships, things get done a lot easier.
Move #1 - "Let's be 'Friends'"
For starters, I needed to take the initiative to show my sincerity to build relationship. Sacrifices was necessary. I ditched my usual lunch crew, explaining that there were new joiners to the team and I was obliged to lunch with the department. Half-truths are best when you do not want to burn bridges (Quote boss: You do not have to burn bridges, you can still lunch with 'them' from time to time).
1215h - I sashayed over to the area where M, C & L was sitting. E and A were on leave and EL was no where to be found. My original plan was to just blend in when the whole group went for lunch, and sticking to the new members of the team Y. This way, it would seem more subtle. But shucks, Y was nowhere to be found. Need to re-strategise. I pretended to read the papers for a bit...realised that they were not ready to lunch. Retreated back to my desk....consolidated thought....heard them stirring a little and talking about lunch...went over and asked them directly if they wanted to do lunch, M was quite nice about it and said yes. When C, M & L moved I joined in. It helped that A & E were not around. It was always easier to infiltrate a less guarded camp.
After latching on successfully, everything flowed according to plan. Conversations were cordial and polite, which was totally expected. After all, i wasn't current with their topics and I was akin to an 'alien'. As much as I am assessing their threat, they are assessing my threat as well. Whatever...
Bonus: Boss, Y, EL and Bear came to the cafeteria for lunch. Boss joined the table and we continued with lunch normally. After lunch, Boss IM me and asked how I managed to excused myself from the lunch crew. I told him that I told them the truth, well, half truth to be exact, but he didn't need the specifics. He acknowledged the effort to make the first move. Aced it.
Next target: A detail battle plan that demostrates sincere effort to form alliance
Moves: Lunch with the Home Team on all Tuesdays.
More social experiment updates in the next entry...
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