Yes, I'm one of those unfortunate few that has to go back to work after Christmas. A lot of people has take leave and better still, some got the day of due to the kindness of their employers. I understand that being in the manufacturing industry, its hard for my company to do so as it affects yield which affects the money we make. But that doesn't mean that i cannot be bitter about going back to work. especially since i know Jeff will be in snuggling up in his warm bed without me. Drats!
Anyway, i came to work, draggingmy feet and went through my routine of signing in to MSN, checking singnet mail & reading BM's blog. Her blog on X'mas eve detail how her 'Goof Fren' had surprised her with a 3-hr SK II Spa session in a private room. after that he further surprised her with a sumptous (a.k.a expensive) dinner at Halia Restaurant at the Botanical Gardens. Then a thought came to me (not sour grapes hor), if 'Good Fren' & 'BM" were not earning quite a healthy income, would they be able to lead such fairy talish lifestyle? I mean how to afford, right? Then i started to think, how do poor people romance each other? They have candle light dinner in their one-room flat, eating porridge with salted fish? Toast to the new year with tap water (provided they got money to pay for their PUB bills?)
Conclusion = No money equals no romance..sad..
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Uncertainty
Just the other day, JY jio me and Aln to meet up. I had thought that it was a normal gathering and had asked KZ along. Just as i was about to leave the house, JY msg to say that if i was going, she'd prefer that i came along. I had no choice but to tell KZ that we cld not go our for drinks but i still met him somehwere nearby for coffee.
By the time i reached Harbourfront, it was almost 10. The nightmare bus took 45 minutes!! Anyway, it turned out that JY had some family issues and both me and Alan gave her some advice. Hope it all turns out well for her. Its rather sad and that sorta set us both thinking of the uncertainty in live I told JY that the uncertainties were because it concerns people (ren).
Later that night, we went over to St James Power Station and Kai was and he popped over to meet us. He asked me if i was seriously getting married and said that he'd be very sad if i did. But i seriously think that he was not serious when he said that. Kai and i dated more than 10 years ago. The Kai that i liked back then is a very different person from who he is right now. It kinda saddens me to see him this way but i still wish him all the best. I must admit that i have considered how things will be liked if i ended up with him but i know that he can never give me the sense of security that Jeff gives me. So, its all pretty clear, in an SMS to Kai i said that this wasn't goodbye but deep in my mind i know it is.
Kai, this is goodbye. Goodbye to the days of cup noodles and chocolate cake..Goodbye to the memories at the river besides Omni Theatre..Goodbye to my young lover..Goodbye..
I will take your well wishes and blessings when i put on my wedding gown. I know u will be happy for me and that we can be good friends as ever. I wil still be there to give you any advice if you need me..Thanks for the memories.
By the time i reached Harbourfront, it was almost 10. The nightmare bus took 45 minutes!! Anyway, it turned out that JY had some family issues and both me and Alan gave her some advice. Hope it all turns out well for her. Its rather sad and that sorta set us both thinking of the uncertainty in live I told JY that the uncertainties were because it concerns people (ren).
Later that night, we went over to St James Power Station and Kai was and he popped over to meet us. He asked me if i was seriously getting married and said that he'd be very sad if i did. But i seriously think that he was not serious when he said that. Kai and i dated more than 10 years ago. The Kai that i liked back then is a very different person from who he is right now. It kinda saddens me to see him this way but i still wish him all the best. I must admit that i have considered how things will be liked if i ended up with him but i know that he can never give me the sense of security that Jeff gives me. So, its all pretty clear, in an SMS to Kai i said that this wasn't goodbye but deep in my mind i know it is.
Kai, this is goodbye. Goodbye to the days of cup noodles and chocolate cake..Goodbye to the memories at the river besides Omni Theatre..Goodbye to my young lover..Goodbye..
I will take your well wishes and blessings when i put on my wedding gown. I know u will be happy for me and that we can be good friends as ever. I wil still be there to give you any advice if you need me..Thanks for the memories.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Finally! My Darling is coming back today!
I left for London on 23 Oct 06 and me and Jeff have not seen each other since then. It has been 7 weeks, that is 49 days!
During this period of time, both of us went through a lot. For me, I'd flew and travelled alone in a foreign land. Much as i kinda had friends with me most of the time. The time i spend transiting alone from one plc to another was a learning experience on its own. I guess Jeff is right to say that i give myself too little credit and I am actually more independent than i thought i was.
Jeff himself had also being through a lot but i guess he had alway been a survivor..its just in his character. Making do with things.
The period after i returned from London took a bit of adjusting. I had so much free time on hand that i did not know what to do. I went through a few days of just going home straight after work and watching Tv with my mom. But given my character, i didn't last very long.
I arranged to meet up with friends, colleagues..for drinks and diner ..sing KTV and play MJ..The highlight is the Latin dance class which JY, Don, Jas and I signed up for. It wasn't easy but we had lots of fun. After classes, we'd go for dinner together & tok a bit of cock so it wa actually quite relaxing.
I think the key take away is that both jeff & i shld still work on our personal space. If not, we will lose our identity & friends if we stick together as a couple too much..
During this period of time, both of us went through a lot. For me, I'd flew and travelled alone in a foreign land. Much as i kinda had friends with me most of the time. The time i spend transiting alone from one plc to another was a learning experience on its own. I guess Jeff is right to say that i give myself too little credit and I am actually more independent than i thought i was.
Jeff himself had also being through a lot but i guess he had alway been a survivor..its just in his character. Making do with things.
The period after i returned from London took a bit of adjusting. I had so much free time on hand that i did not know what to do. I went through a few days of just going home straight after work and watching Tv with my mom. But given my character, i didn't last very long.
I arranged to meet up with friends, colleagues..for drinks and diner ..sing KTV and play MJ..The highlight is the Latin dance class which JY, Don, Jas and I signed up for. It wasn't easy but we had lots of fun. After classes, we'd go for dinner together & tok a bit of cock so it wa actually quite relaxing.
I think the key take away is that both jeff & i shld still work on our personal space. If not, we will lose our identity & friends if we stick together as a couple too much..
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Lonely Without You..
The last that Jeff and i saw each was on 23 October..it has been 20 days since we last met and it will be another 29 days before we see each other again..This seperation made me conclude that human probably don't function very well when they are alone. Hence the saying that "no man is an isle".
There used to be 2 occupants on the isle that i live on so when my co-occupant went away, things became different. I lost my pillar of strength and felt especially vulnerable. It seemed even worst than when i was in London and Paris alone.
The problems that i faced in London and Paris comes to an end with me leaving on the plane headed for home. When i touched down, i knew that the long holiday has ended nad its time to return to reality and start clearing the shit at work.
Much as i enjoy what i am doing right now, the workload is just killing me. What made work bearable in the past was because i always had Jeff waiting for me at the end of the day. As often as he can make it, he will always fetch me homw from work. The half hour journey where we off-loaded the shit at work always made things a lot better. Everyday when i stepped out of office and see his car there waiting for me, never fails to brighten up my day.
Now, as the new week is about to start, i need to brace myself for the challenges ahead. Until jeff's back, it'll be a lonely battle by myself..
There used to be 2 occupants on the isle that i live on so when my co-occupant went away, things became different. I lost my pillar of strength and felt especially vulnerable. It seemed even worst than when i was in London and Paris alone.
The problems that i faced in London and Paris comes to an end with me leaving on the plane headed for home. When i touched down, i knew that the long holiday has ended nad its time to return to reality and start clearing the shit at work.
Much as i enjoy what i am doing right now, the workload is just killing me. What made work bearable in the past was because i always had Jeff waiting for me at the end of the day. As often as he can make it, he will always fetch me homw from work. The half hour journey where we off-loaded the shit at work always made things a lot better. Everyday when i stepped out of office and see his car there waiting for me, never fails to brighten up my day.
Now, as the new week is about to start, i need to brace myself for the challenges ahead. Until jeff's back, it'll be a lonely battle by myself..
Sunday, August 13, 2006
The Big Question
13th August 2006 now becomes one important day in both me and Jeff's lives. Even though we have been looking for a flat of our own for a period of time now, he has only popped the question today, at 2am.
I have always wondered what it'd be like when he finally asks the question and I'd never imagine it to turn out the way it did. He actually put in lots of effort to plan something special for both of us but somehow things did not turn out the way it should.
He had wanted to take half the day off on Fri to see to the arrangements but was delayed in office. What made it worst was that my mobile phone was out of battery so i was basically uncontactable. Of course the traffic condition on the day itself made things worst. A normal half hour journey took one and a half hour instead.
The fireworks had gone off by the time we hit town and his plan for us to have dinner inside a hotel room which he had booked to watched fireworks was foiled. I had been angry with him for rushing me so much and made me go hungry till such late hours. I nagged at him for a good 45 minutes and the mood was kind tense by the time we reached marina.
He told me that he had wanted to cancel whatever that he had planned as i had already been so mad and he didn't want things to be marred. But as i had been hungry and had already ordered room service, he decided to bring me there so i can eat something. I must say i was really surprised and suspected that he had planned that to pop the question but he didn't during the dinner and he didn't when we were in the room.
Anyway, we checked out of the hotel at 6pm and had dinner and caught the second round of fireworks. I had thought that he had simply wanted to do something nice for me and was quite happy.
After fireworks, the traffic started to built up and his car accidentally scratched someone else's car..i was like..what the $%^&!! We were really damn unlucky but thank goodness the damage done was not serious. I tried my bestest to not chiding.
After things were more or less settled, we retreated to his home and got ready to sleep, he took the ring out from nowhere and asked the question! I was surprised but happy. It sort of put things in place for us..
Next, we'll have to find a place which we cab both call home..
I have always wondered what it'd be like when he finally asks the question and I'd never imagine it to turn out the way it did. He actually put in lots of effort to plan something special for both of us but somehow things did not turn out the way it should.
He had wanted to take half the day off on Fri to see to the arrangements but was delayed in office. What made it worst was that my mobile phone was out of battery so i was basically uncontactable. Of course the traffic condition on the day itself made things worst. A normal half hour journey took one and a half hour instead.
The fireworks had gone off by the time we hit town and his plan for us to have dinner inside a hotel room which he had booked to watched fireworks was foiled. I had been angry with him for rushing me so much and made me go hungry till such late hours. I nagged at him for a good 45 minutes and the mood was kind tense by the time we reached marina.
He told me that he had wanted to cancel whatever that he had planned as i had already been so mad and he didn't want things to be marred. But as i had been hungry and had already ordered room service, he decided to bring me there so i can eat something. I must say i was really surprised and suspected that he had planned that to pop the question but he didn't during the dinner and he didn't when we were in the room.
Anyway, we checked out of the hotel at 6pm and had dinner and caught the second round of fireworks. I had thought that he had simply wanted to do something nice for me and was quite happy.
After fireworks, the traffic started to built up and his car accidentally scratched someone else's car..i was like..what the $%^&!! We were really damn unlucky but thank goodness the damage done was not serious. I tried my bestest to not chiding.
After things were more or less settled, we retreated to his home and got ready to sleep, he took the ring out from nowhere and asked the question! I was surprised but happy. It sort of put things in place for us..
Next, we'll have to find a place which we cab both call home..
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Isn’t it all about respect?
People simply lack respect for others in this age and world we are living in? I am guilty of this too but I have seen too many examples that are far worst than moi that I just have to get this off my chest. Take this scenario for example,
Background: A feedback box which BB has forgotten for eons is full. The recpt staff calls to request for the forms to be cleared. NB asked BB about it and she said the SS is supposed to retrieve the keys from an ex staff. Privately, SS told NB that he had done so and passed the keys to BB who handed the keys over to temp staff.
BB: What’s the status? Go check if the box can be removed?
(NB goes down feeling like crap to find that the box is drilled into the wall)
NB: The box cannot be removed from the wall.
BB: Why are you telling me this?
(NB under her breath: Cos you asked for status..duh..)
NB: I’ll contact Mr X in-charge of building maintenance to remove the box from the wall.
BB: Go do it fast before we get complained.
(NB thinks to herself, we have already been complained against, that’s how we were reminded of this box’s existence)
NB brings back the box with Mr X’s help.
BB tries to pry it open with her letter opener. Of course it didn’t work. If it did, our homes will not be safe anymore.
NB tries to be helpful by passing her some keys which she tried opening the box with but to no avail.
BB: What are these?
NB: Keys…I tried them yesterday but it didn’t work.
BB: Why are you wasting my time if you have already tried them!
NB: ….
(BB managed to retrieve a few feedback from the box and commands NB to work on the feedback. NB accidentally leaves behind the useless keys when receiving the feedback forms.)
BB: Why are you giving the keys to me again? Don’t waste my time!
(NB again thinks to herself,: I wasn’t passing them to you, I merely dropped them by accident.)
Background: A feedback box which BB has forgotten for eons is full. The recpt staff calls to request for the forms to be cleared. NB asked BB about it and she said the SS is supposed to retrieve the keys from an ex staff. Privately, SS told NB that he had done so and passed the keys to BB who handed the keys over to temp staff.
BB: What’s the status? Go check if the box can be removed?
(NB goes down feeling like crap to find that the box is drilled into the wall)
NB: The box cannot be removed from the wall.
BB: Why are you telling me this?
(NB under her breath: Cos you asked for status..duh..)
NB: I’ll contact Mr X in-charge of building maintenance to remove the box from the wall.
BB: Go do it fast before we get complained.
(NB thinks to herself, we have already been complained against, that’s how we were reminded of this box’s existence)
NB brings back the box with Mr X’s help.
BB tries to pry it open with her letter opener. Of course it didn’t work. If it did, our homes will not be safe anymore.
NB tries to be helpful by passing her some keys which she tried opening the box with but to no avail.
BB: What are these?
NB: Keys…I tried them yesterday but it didn’t work.
BB: Why are you wasting my time if you have already tried them!
NB: ….
(BB managed to retrieve a few feedback from the box and commands NB to work on the feedback. NB accidentally leaves behind the useless keys when receiving the feedback forms.)
BB: Why are you giving the keys to me again? Don’t waste my time!
(NB again thinks to herself,: I wasn’t passing them to you, I merely dropped them by accident.)
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Life is such...
Heard a piece of very sad news today, Captain Joe of China Girl, the yacht which Zhen’s company rents, has passed away yesterday from a heart attack.
We don’t really know Uncle Joe very well, in fact, we have only seen him thrice when we went onboard China Girl. In fact I didn’t even talked to him very much on these occasions so I came to conclusion that its probably because we just saw him a few days ago that created this impact. Like I told Zhen, it was just so sudden.
Then again, this is what makes heart attacks scary. You never know when it is going to come and take your life away. I don’t if you have the same experience as I did but when someone that you know passes away, apart from sadness, the next thing that you start to do is to recap all those moments, however brief, that you have had with the person.
For Captain Joe, I remember how he encouraged us to jump into the sea when it was raining as he said the sea was warm due to the disparity in temperature. We all had so much fun. I also remember him re-painting the yacht the second time we went on-board China Girl. I remember him asking us if there was dinner for him and I passed him a packet of chicken rice. We always bought him a packet of chicken rice for lunch when we went on-board. For the next few weeks when I have chicken rice, I will probably be reminded of Uncle Joe. China Girl gave all of us a lot of fun and that would not have been possible without Uncle Joe and of course, Zhen & her company. We celebrated JY’s birthday onboard. We watched Kari Pok jump ship. We played “Sea Volleyball” on a sandbed in the sea. We drank and played stupid games till we all merlion. Life is such..
We don’t really know Uncle Joe very well, in fact, we have only seen him thrice when we went onboard China Girl. In fact I didn’t even talked to him very much on these occasions so I came to conclusion that its probably because we just saw him a few days ago that created this impact. Like I told Zhen, it was just so sudden.
Then again, this is what makes heart attacks scary. You never know when it is going to come and take your life away. I don’t if you have the same experience as I did but when someone that you know passes away, apart from sadness, the next thing that you start to do is to recap all those moments, however brief, that you have had with the person.
For Captain Joe, I remember how he encouraged us to jump into the sea when it was raining as he said the sea was warm due to the disparity in temperature. We all had so much fun. I also remember him re-painting the yacht the second time we went on-board China Girl. I remember him asking us if there was dinner for him and I passed him a packet of chicken rice. We always bought him a packet of chicken rice for lunch when we went on-board. For the next few weeks when I have chicken rice, I will probably be reminded of Uncle Joe. China Girl gave all of us a lot of fun and that would not have been possible without Uncle Joe and of course, Zhen & her company. We celebrated JY’s birthday onboard. We watched Kari Pok jump ship. We played “Sea Volleyball” on a sandbed in the sea. We drank and played stupid games till we all merlion. Life is such..
Saturday, April 15, 2006
One month liaoz..
Wow... i am one month into my new job. Just a quick recap of what has happened just before ileft my old position to plunge into a new environment.
Basically, I was pretty much done with the civil service. Sick and tired of working for just one man, sick and tired of working late nights cos bosses were sitting on things. Sick and tired of the endles work, there was never really a lull period of work-horses like us to consolidate and reflect on the work. After two years, i decided it was time to move on.
Just like many others, who were and still are stuck in the same runt, i was lazy and too comfortable in the present state. Maybe its human nature to resent change, i was reluctant to start seraching for an outlet. But i guess my darling grew sick of my endless complaints bout the shite hole. I secretly suspect it was for his own salvation that he poured through the recruit ads and cut out ads for me. he even spot-check to see if i sat on them or sent out my application.
After several interviews and offers rejected (yes, i rejected job offers, those that couldn't afford to pay me, those that din offer 13th month bonus- can u believe it?!!), i finally landed this job. Many felt that it was a pity for me to leave the ministry. I had just recently got a grade promotion, 10% pay increment and a contract renewal for three years. I was a senior (with the old birds leaving) and my projects were showing results. Most of all, i will have to give up the 21 days of leave and settle for 14 days. To put it simply, i donot see a future with the ministry and the lifestyle that the job dictate was simply not something that i was willing to come to terms with.
Anyway, i moved on, did my handover and pack my stuff. I went on a short holiday to Taiwan. I had always wanted to go to Taiwan, for a few reasons. First and foremost, my deat fren JH was working there. He had bought a nice 3/4 storey townhouse with his Taiwanese gf. It was huge savings to bunk in with him. Of course i had also wanted to visit him. Our group of friends had said that we were going to visit him but our schedules just din match and we had to visit him seperately.
Secondly, i was also very intrigued with Taiwan culture. Over the years, the Taiwanese culture was soemthing i had grew somewhat accustomed to becase of the numerous Taiwanese entertainment programmes which were airing on tv.
Anyway, i went and i am back. Love that place, the weather was cooling, didn't have a problem with sweating. Love the food, everything from roadside fare, KTV buffets, 168NT buffets were simply scrumptious! I fitted in perfectly..wish i could stay there for a while..sigh..
Anyway, once i was back, i attended a farewell lunch organised by my ex-company for me and a few other colleagues who were leaving. I was late that day and they started first. Not that i really care and i suppose they didn't care if i went either. After all, this farewell lunch thingy was just a formality. I jusr wanted to geta free meal and my gift! I had contributed to so many farewell prezzies so its only right that i get what i deserved!
I was quite disappointed as my pals from my ex-company seemed to have moved on. I mean, what happen to all those.."oh i will miss u so much, why did u have to leave etc ect". I mean, i understand we all will have to move on but it was barely a month after my last day. Surely things couldn't have moved so fast right. It just made the friendship seem so hypocritical. there i was sitting there with my closest colleagues but it felt no better than a awkward blind date.
So here i am typing at my new work station on a Saturday. Still getting used to the long travelling time to my new office, gettng to knwo my new colleagues, getting used to my bosses' antics. I am keeping my fingers crossed but so far, the workload has been manageable. At least i don;t have to work as late as i used to at my ex-company.
Basically, I was pretty much done with the civil service. Sick and tired of working for just one man, sick and tired of working late nights cos bosses were sitting on things. Sick and tired of the endles work, there was never really a lull period of work-horses like us to consolidate and reflect on the work. After two years, i decided it was time to move on.
Just like many others, who were and still are stuck in the same runt, i was lazy and too comfortable in the present state. Maybe its human nature to resent change, i was reluctant to start seraching for an outlet. But i guess my darling grew sick of my endless complaints bout the shite hole. I secretly suspect it was for his own salvation that he poured through the recruit ads and cut out ads for me. he even spot-check to see if i sat on them or sent out my application.
After several interviews and offers rejected (yes, i rejected job offers, those that couldn't afford to pay me, those that din offer 13th month bonus- can u believe it?!!), i finally landed this job. Many felt that it was a pity for me to leave the ministry. I had just recently got a grade promotion, 10% pay increment and a contract renewal for three years. I was a senior (with the old birds leaving) and my projects were showing results. Most of all, i will have to give up the 21 days of leave and settle for 14 days. To put it simply, i donot see a future with the ministry and the lifestyle that the job dictate was simply not something that i was willing to come to terms with.
Anyway, i moved on, did my handover and pack my stuff. I went on a short holiday to Taiwan. I had always wanted to go to Taiwan, for a few reasons. First and foremost, my deat fren JH was working there. He had bought a nice 3/4 storey townhouse with his Taiwanese gf. It was huge savings to bunk in with him. Of course i had also wanted to visit him. Our group of friends had said that we were going to visit him but our schedules just din match and we had to visit him seperately.
Secondly, i was also very intrigued with Taiwan culture. Over the years, the Taiwanese culture was soemthing i had grew somewhat accustomed to becase of the numerous Taiwanese entertainment programmes which were airing on tv.
Anyway, i went and i am back. Love that place, the weather was cooling, didn't have a problem with sweating. Love the food, everything from roadside fare, KTV buffets, 168NT buffets were simply scrumptious! I fitted in perfectly..wish i could stay there for a while..sigh..
Anyway, once i was back, i attended a farewell lunch organised by my ex-company for me and a few other colleagues who were leaving. I was late that day and they started first. Not that i really care and i suppose they didn't care if i went either. After all, this farewell lunch thingy was just a formality. I jusr wanted to geta free meal and my gift! I had contributed to so many farewell prezzies so its only right that i get what i deserved!
I was quite disappointed as my pals from my ex-company seemed to have moved on. I mean, what happen to all those.."oh i will miss u so much, why did u have to leave etc ect". I mean, i understand we all will have to move on but it was barely a month after my last day. Surely things couldn't have moved so fast right. It just made the friendship seem so hypocritical. there i was sitting there with my closest colleagues but it felt no better than a awkward blind date.
So here i am typing at my new work station on a Saturday. Still getting used to the long travelling time to my new office, gettng to knwo my new colleagues, getting used to my bosses' antics. I am keeping my fingers crossed but so far, the workload has been manageable. At least i don;t have to work as late as i used to at my ex-company.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
