Companionship

I went to the refurbished Changi Village Hotel last Saturday and it was just wonderful.
I especialy liked the rooftop swimming pool where i get to see planes land and take-off.
The breakfast was so good and i felt totally relaxed just sipping tea at the outdoor area and watching planes fly over my head.
I had not felt so relaxed in a long long time...

While i feel that it was the place that made me let my hair down, my bf feels that it was the campanionship that made the difference. After giving it some thought, i can agree that it was having him by my side that completed the whole experience.

He will be going for air grading in Tamworth in a few days' time and i would all alone here. I know i will miss him a lot but i need to be supportive and be strong. Think its gonna be really tough..especially since i have gotten so used to having him by my side all the time..sob..

alamak...sick liaoz..

sianz man...spent my weekend feeling sick...caught the flu bug from a colleague..started with a bad throat den the nose oso got blocked...guess its my body's way of telling me that it needs to rest.
Have been working so god damn hard but no one really appreciates..
the bloody management in office are freaking impressionistic and they deemed me as incompetent..
i am not trying to find excuses for myself but i do my very best but they all just love to nit-pick..
bloddy hell, if they think they are so flawless then they might as well do everything themselves lor..
Other colleagues who just do a better job sucking up to their big fat ass gets letters of affirmation while the rest just evade jobs legally...what is the world coming to.
Attrition rate is so bloody hell and staff morale is just rock bottom low...and the bitches are still oblivious that they will soon lose every able officer that they have.

Every sunday night i oso have to inject myself with an imaginary numb shot so that i won't be affected by the nonsense from them..they always have 101 reasons for their unreasonable demands and assholic arrows that they shoot. Ah...what the heck..my SO says that i shld channel my energy into looking for a new job..that brings me to another problem.. i have no idea what job is good for me...shit...how??

abnormal

somethimes i really wonder whether its my bf that's abnormal or is it me whose abnormal.
He's always like falling asleep when we are spending time together..
make me feel like shit like that...its as if i am so boring that its hard to keep awake to spend time with me.
when i am in a good mood i'd just ignore the bothering thought and just go to sleep with the corspe lying beside me.
when i am in one of those PMS mood, he'd really get it from me..i would get up and tug the blanket from him and ka jiao him until he also cannot sleep...den after that when i am satisfied and he's awake that time..i'd be happy and go to bed.

Honestly, all i am asking is to spend some quality time, sharing pillow talk...really so hard meh?
sometimes i really dun understand man..why they always so sleepy one..anytime, anywhere also can sleep...even when he has taken afternoon naps, at night also early early will fall asleep...
super piss me of and i'd just tell him that he might as well not meet me if he so sleepy..

Damn!!!

Sianz

I decided today that i will not renew my contract with the dreaded organisation that i am with when my term with them is due. My boss obsession with micro-managing us is just so infuriating. Before you start thinking that i am yet one of those fresh grad who's not used to the pressure of the rat race, i thad better affix my own discliamer.

I am no fresh grad and this is definitely not my first encounter with picky bosses..so i guess the real reason is that i am not exactly in love with my job but its mainly b'cos my bosses are always splitting hairs that i feel sick of doing what i am doing..

When can i ever find that one job that i like and can remain doing for the rest of my life?

Jeepers Creepers!!

I suddenly realised that in the workplace, people are by default hypocritical.
I was in discussion with my boss about what corporate gifts to indent. The gifts all looked hideous and 'orbit' but i actually went with her to choose this disgusting design. It made me feel kinda sad but i knew that it was for survival. I know my boss too well, anyone who disagrees with her would get a taste of hell. I am smarter than that..

Really sianz of work oredi..think i really got a lazy bone in me. To think that i actually had the audacity to call Jeff 'lazy bones'. Like other pampered Singaporean, i hope to bag that cushy job which pays well. A job like what Alan's friends does would be ideal. The Dip holder's got a 5K salary and the company actually pays for his meals and transport. Dumb! I wonder why the company hasn't closed down yet.

Oh well, life's not a bed of roses anyway. I am just hoping that's its a bed of chrysanthenum..hee.

Sad fren..

At about 10-ish this morning, i rec'd an email from Rabbit toh asking our gang of friends to go read Lao da's blog. He mentioned briefly that he's kinda down but did not give much details. I assumed it was prob something to do with his results cos i heard frm rabbit that he din do too well.

Lo and behold, when i read his entries on his blog site, i was surprised to see a side of Lao da which i never knew. Bui Alan calls his entries poetic! But more importantly, he told us a sad story of how his gf had left him. He seemed really depressed and it was something that i was quite expecting. he had always been a person who took things in his stride. I'd known him for 10 over years and i have never seen him cry. It shocked me to know that he actually cried for the women who left him.

Having being through a few relationships myself, i can totally relate to the hurt that he's experiencing. Friends who read, pls, don't ever tell someone who had just been dumped that everything's gonna be alright. Its not, ok! For goodness sake, someone whom we have held dear to our hearts has decide to exit from our lives forever. How can it be alright! It may sound cliche but honestly, the only thing that we can do is to leave them alone. Give them some space and time to sort things out! Be there for them if they need us, that's bout it.

Lao da, let us know when u r done getting over ure princess yah.

Quarter life crisis

I guess I must be experiencing some sort of a quarter-life crisis. Recently, I have been thinking a lot about my life, mainly questioning myself about how I can lead a more fulfilling life. It was like I was hit by a thunder bolt when I realised that I had spent a large part of my life studying something which I thought I had passion in only to discover that it was interest that spur me to pursue it. Not only that, I also realised that it was only because that ‘area of interest’ was something that I had done than the other subjects in schools. I was devastated. I had spent some much time pursuing something that I had no intrinsic interest for. The question that follows next would be what my I had passion for. Honestly speaking, I don’t know. No clue, no inkling not even the slightest idea.

Ever since I was freed from my mom’s control, I had always been attached. All my time free from books was spent doing what my boyfriends like to do. When I was with Al, it was gallivanting and movie watching. Things became more subdue with Jon as we often spent time fishing, rearing fishes and eating fish meat bee hoon. With Ben, it was all about retail therapy and piling on the fats. Now that I am with Jeff, I spend most of my time doing all of the above. Technically speaking, I shouldn’t be complaining, I had experienced so much more than the girl next door or your average Joe. But it’s a meaning that I am searching for, a meaning for doing the things that I am doing, all the seemingly mundane stuff that I routinely do day after day and week after week.

I guess it may just voice down to the very fact that I do not enjoy the work I am doing. Where I work, the arrows just keep coming and the work just keeps piling. Just when you thought you had finished one project and there’s finally some room to catch your breath, you get slapped with yet another project. I hope there will come a day where I will find a job that I’d truly enjoy and not dread.